Devotion

The most amazing thing people.  You're not going to believe it:

I'm in LA!  The warm beating heart of the entertainment industry.  Me, a chica from Africa, keep finding myself on alien ground and loving it.  The miracle of it, the new-ness doesn't die.  I've woken up to life again, and I liiike.

Went to have dinner at the suggestively titled Pink Taco Restaurant in Santa Monica Boulevard with Mr Dre last night.  It's a crazy place with loud music and good food, and all the waiters look either like models or space aliens.  One of the two.

Andre kicked us off with some good ole tequila and then the waiter felt compelled to buy us some more. By 7pm this chica was pretty hammered.  Correct, I'm a cheap date.

Understand though: tequila in America is a whole different deal to the crap you get in SA.  No wonder that stuff gives you such a hangover.  Tequila is actually supposed to go down pretty smooth it seems.  Anyhoozle.  We were going to watch "Where the wild things are" except that it was sold out, so instead we had some coffee which sobered me up and then went to watch "500 days of Summer", a sweet little Indie movie about a little thing called love, starring Zooey Deschanel.  It was too sweet.  Feel good and pretty to look at.

Spent today lazing by the pool with Frances who has returned from San Diego, swimming from time to time, napping and reading with Mortitia the cat and still trying to figure out what happens next.  Frances has been kind enough to offer for me to stay here for a couple of days more till I figure it out.  I don't want to go home yet but money is tight.  It's hard to know what to do.  At some point I'll just have to jump off the bridge and trust that everything will be fine.

I've got a couple days more to decide.

I've started to notice that I laugh more than I used to.  I just laugh.  Spontaneously.  I am amused by things.  I get involved and immersed in moments.  When I arrived I was completely pre-occupied with what I had left behind and where I wanted to go.  It seems like these days (except for occasional anxiety about where to next) I am slowly letting go and surrendering to my circumstances, not trying to manipulate it too much or spending hours and hours doing research about places and things online.  It feels kinda nice.

Ran out and bought "Wonderland: The Zen of Alice" yesterday.  Here's some:

To devote oneself body and soul to experiencing one's life and death is to live the life of a Buddha.  Devotion means not backing away from obstacles.  Devotion is throwing oneself into something completely.

So:

I devote myself to the rest of my journey, throwing myself into each moment, trusting that it will catch me and seeing the wonder and miraculousness in it.

Cheers to that!