Horses and demons.

Over the years it's become obvious that most of my girlfriends go for a specific type of guy: the joker, the bad boy, the wild man, the doctor, the guy with tattoos. Every new boyfriend might for an instant appear to be different, but soon you discover that he’s exactly the same cup of tea as the previous one, just dressed in a slightly different outfit. Sheeps and wolves come to mind here.

I’m a “dark horse” kind of girl, nothing thrills me more than a man with a social inept-ness that can’t do a 9 to 5 job and writes bad poetry in his spare time. The list of famous dark horse types I aspire to sleeping with include Dr House (otherwise known as Hugh Laurie) Tom Waits, Nick Cave and Tom Robbins.

The only man I really felt even vaguely attracted to whilst I was in the US of A was a man in his late 40’s who was a philandering womaniser who drove his wife up the wall. However, he looked spot on like Tom Waits, had more brains than all the people in the room put together and painted like a demon. I had to leave the party in order to cool down.

My list of previous engagements with men read like a who’s who of Dark Horsey-ness. There’s been a musician, a dope head, a magician, a small town boy, an artist… All of them sporting some kind of addiction, history of abuse, depression and the like. 

The one that pushed my buttons the deepest dragged me home with him the first night we met to "show me his collection of David Lynch movies", and so I sat watching Eraserhead whilst he kissed me up and down my neck and told me about the genius of the filmmaker in question and his travels to Spain. Night after night I would listen to him philosophying with his Spanish mentor in the restaurant where I worked and without even realising it I became obsessed with him, his leather jackets, his sad eyes. He was so big, so strong, and yet so vulnerable at the same time. It was round 2002 that he overdosed purposefully on heroine.


See, there are a number of problems with dating this specific type of man.  Off the bat they aren't that easy to track down and once you do, they're often non-committal jittery types who don't like to be pinned down for too long or don't want you to interfere with their art regime.  Besides for that they are often anti-social types so where the hell are you supposed to meet them I ask you??? 

Oh, dark horse man, I'm over here in my room if you need me. Just leave a message on the door or something, and someone will get back to you sometime soon. Perhaps we can meet up Dark Horse... Perhaps...