Forgive me for I have sinned. It’s been 34 years since my last confession (assuming that I came clean just after emerging from my mother’s womb) and I can’t keep it to myself any longer.
I have raised a blood thirsty murderer, a crazy killer who plays games with his pray and tortures them for hours. It all started so innocently: first it was a cockroach that I thought he’d caught in the house. I was proud of him for keeping the pest at bay and patted him on the head like a good boy. This spurred him on and a couple of days later it was a gecko in his mouth. As time past the frequency with which he brought similar bugs home became closer and closer together, and although these specimens satisfied him for awhile I came home one day to find a mangled chameleon lying shattered at my front door. Since his head was missing I couldn’t find out for sure if my suspicions were correct and I chose to turn a blind eye Universe. I am a mother after all. I didn’t last long though. One night I came home to find him lying in the lounge with a mouse in his mouth looking utterly pleased and somewhat hungry. Then a dove that he must have poached out of a tree.
Oh Universe, what am I to do?? How do I stop this path of destruction that has opened up under my roof? How do I convey my condolences to the small furry creatures that live in my neighbourhood? How do I warn them of his crazed obsession with anything that moves quickly or scuttles about? Besides, his disguise is top notch: a black coat that covers his whole body. An unmatched agility and a fondness for climbing trees at night. What will he bring home next Universe? A squirrel? A poodle for God's sake??
Dear Universe, have mercy on the animals in my neighbourhood. Let them sleep with one eye open and tell them that Swarties the Siamese has moved in. They need to watch their backs because if he finds them… Oh if he finds them Universe, the games will go on for hours.
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